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Whale of a Tale

Kirk Douglas
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Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo

There was Mermaid Minnie, met her down in Madagascar
She would kiss me any time that I would ask her
Then one evening, her flame of love blew out
Blow me down and pick me up!
She swapped me for a trout

Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo

There was Typhoon Tessie, met her on the coast of Java
When we kissed, I bubbled up like molten lava
Then she gave me the scare of my young life
Blow me down and pick me up!
She was the captain's wife

Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo

There was Harpoon Hannah
Had a face that made you shudder, lips like fishhooks
And a nose just like a rudder
If I kissed her and held her tenderly
(Held her tenderly)
There's no sea monster big enough
To ever frighten me

Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by my tattoo

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