Washington crossed the Delaware River
Washington acted like a Rock Star
Washington made America deliver
Washington tried to be a Rock Star
But all the fame that he had won
It wasn't really any fun
Soon the people started turning, whoa-oa-oa
That boy who couldn't tell a lie
Two terms and then he said goodbye
Georgie went back to Mount Vernon (wow!)
Why don't you just shoot me in the head
'Cause you know I'd be better off dead
If there's really no place in America
For a celebrity of the first rank
Ladies and gentlemen
Governor Andrew Jackson! Yea-eah!
That's right, motherfuckers, Jackson's back
One-two-three
John Addams tried to be an American Idol
Jefferson tried to be a Rock Star
Madison tried to make the presidency vital
And James Monroe was a Douche Bag
The story always ends the same
It's hard to handle all that fame
You don't really have it in you, whoa-oa-oa
There's no place in Democracy
For your brand of Aristocracy
Take that shit back to Virginia (or Massachusetts, bitch!)
Why don't you just shoot me in the head
'Cause you know I'd be better off dead
If there's really no place in America
For a celebrity of the first rank
You can't just be a founding father (would you like to see my stimulus package?)
When everybody wants you to be their father
You can't just be a founding father (I'm gonna fill you with popula-jizz-m)
When everybody needs you to be their father
Why don't you just shoot me in the head
'Cause you know I'd be better off dead
If there's really no place in America
For a celebrity of the first -
Why don't you just shoot me in the head
'Cause you know I'd be better off dead
If there's really no place in America
For a celebrity of the first -
Why don't you just shoot me in the head
'Cause you know I'd be better off dead
If there's really no place in America
For a celebrity of the first -
Why don't you just shoot me in the head
'Cause you know I'd be better off dead
If there's really no place in America
For a celebrity of the first -
Why don't you just shoot me in the head
'Cause you know I'd be better off dead
If there's really no place in America
For a celebrity of the first rank
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