The Pitiful Children

Christine is begging for assistance, Jeremy!
She's helpless and craving
She clearly needs saving
And you hold the key
Wo-ah!
Jeremy
If you get her corrected
You'll both be connected
Literally
Wo-oah

She's lost and overcome with hesita-a-ation
She wished she knew what life was all about
A SQUIP can fix her current situa-ation
Things improve without a doubt
It'll be you who helped her out
Let's save the pitiful children

Woah

Let's save the pitiful children

Woah
Let's teach the pitiful children, who just haven't a clue
Just what to do
He-elp them to he-e-elp you

Ladies' running shoes? There's gotta be enough SQUIPS in here for.

The entire school?
Now put those pills in that beaker and fill it with Mountain Dew!

Can you see the vision clearly, Jeremy?
People embracing
And interfacing
Beep bop boop boop

Christine will be so thoroughly deli-i-ghted
When you improve the lives of all her peers
Sync the school, get everyone united
Jocks and geeks will hug and chat, while--

Scuse me, what the frick is that?

A supercomputer from Japan that solves all your problems...
Uh, and mountain dew

Okay!

Ah, yeah!

Let's save the pitiful children!

Wo-oah

Let's save the pitiful children!

Beep bop boo beep bop boo beep bop boo beep

Let's teach the pitiful children, who just haven't a clue

Just what to do
He-elp them to he-elp you

(vocalizing)

Let's save the pitiful children

Beep beep beep beep boop

Let's save the pitiful children

SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP, SQUIP

Let's teach the pitiful children, who just haven't a clue

If that's what we do
If that's what we do
Then

Everything about us is going to be wonderful

We love everything about SQUIPs

Everything about us is going to be so alive

We could never live without SQUIPs

You won't feel left out or unsure

Not pitiful children anymore
'Cause
Everything about us is going to be cool
When... we... rule!