what if?

Lately I've been living in my head
Some days it's hard to get up out of bed
My family be worried bout my health
I can't blame em' cause I'm nervous for myself
What if I run out of breathe?
What if I run out of meds?
What if I told you I'm not suicidal but sometimes I feel like I'm dead?
I haven't been feeling alive, look at the pain in my eyes
Everyone said imma be just fine
But what if I'm not?
What if I die?
What if I never get the chance to say goodbye?
But what if I fought and never look back?
And murdered all these demons following me from my past

I know I'm gon see better days
I ain't tryna manifest my pain
Gotta keep going, I got so much to lose but more to gain
Gotta keep showing em' I'm a young rich boy from the "H"
From the east side to L.A
Baby I'm a real one ain't no bitch in my DNA
When I get a million I'll split it with my family
It's no better feeling than seeing a smile on their face
Tryna make sure we all paid, fuck the fame
But what if I fuck up again?
What if I end up giving in?
What if these demons win?
What if the voice inside of my head keep on sending threats?
I keep telling myself ima make it til the end

But what if I'm not?
What if I die?
What if I never get the chance to say goodbye?
But what if I fought and never look back?
And murdered all these demons following me from my past

I'm stronger than the devil is
He tryna bring me down but I ain't having it
Anxiety inside of me, gotta find a way to manage it
I said "momma I'm trying to beat the battle I've been in"
Gotta make sure she know that ima win
Uh-uh, uh-uh
I don't wanna die too young
Uh-uh, uh-uh
I gotta survive so one day I'll meet my son

But what if I'm not?
What if I die?
What if I never get the chance to say goodbye?
But what if I fought and never look back?
And murdered all these demons following me from my past