I breathed in the smoke deeply it tasted like death and I smiled

I wish a heaven on Earth for my enemies
So that hell will hurt so much more
I never dream because I'm never asleep
I dove headfirst in the water, and I swam too fucking deep
The fire ignites the sky
I never got the chance to say goodbye

This has to be a terrible dream
This is a defense mechanism
Our minds are playing tricks on us
We have left the boundaries of the observable universe

I can't think, I can't cry
My mind would implode
I want to disappear
Debilitated
I'm sorry, I wish I waited
It ended alone
Not knowing why you weren't at home
Apologies unheard
I live, I die by your word
Apologies unheard
I live, I die by your word
Apologies unheard
I live, I die by your word
I walk this path alone
Push further away

I wish a heaven on Earth for my enemies
So that hell will hurt so much more
I breathed in the smoke
Deeply, it tasted like death, and I smiled