I Don't Want to Be Sad

I'm always so lonely, frustrated, and angry
And I never know if it's my fault
Or if it's just my brain working fucking wrong
Cause I have got problems that I cannot withhold
Cause I have got diseases that I cannot control

And my feelings are at the mercy of my chemical imbalances
And I'm trapped inside the torture of living with bipolar disorder

And I always hate myself more than I hate anyone else
I'll always hate myself before I hate anyone else
Cause I know I have earned it
From years and years of treating myself like shit

And I want to believe that it's not my fault
And I want to believe that I can live a fulfilling life
But I might not
I might not